When I was planning, preparing and moving my life abroad I forgot about one critical element, feeling homesick. No tears at the airport, no sobbing goodbyes, not for this traveler who is always working towards checking off one more box on my eternal to do list. And yet, right now, roughly two weeks after my move, I miss my family in the deep marrow of my bones. I feel a paralyzing sadness and a voice in my head that says, “you will always be alone.”
As the typical teacher planner-type-person with a plan A through Z, this feeling caught me completely off guard. Looking back, I was too excited to move on to a new adventure to even consider what it would feel like to live so far from my family. The true reality is that I miss my sister and my brothers, being able to text my Dad and to call my Mom. Bittersweet are my memories of my life in Denver; my roommates, my friends and my ability to hike outside my back door. I long to watch a movie with my Grandma or to travel with my cousins. I did not realize how much a five hour time difference would impact communication. Now, I do.
My current goal is to give myself grace and time to process. I am still excited to teach and to work at my new school. Honestly, I wake up much happier than I ever have, but that doesn’t mean I don’t cry myself to sleep some nights too. Life is about balance and if I am going to document living abroad, I have to include both the joy and the sorrow. My soul is full when standing in the ocean, waves crashing against me and salt in my hair; not so much when wondering how in the world am I going to survive this solitude.
Years of therapy and hard work on my own self love has taught me to channel this energy in a constructive and creative manner. If I have learned anything from my past experiences with depression and anxiety, it is to use these emotions in a productive way. For me, yoga, knitting and listening to audiobooks has been incredibly helpful during this transitional period.
If there is anyone else out there considering moving abroad, teaching abroad or traveling for extended periods of time, I do not have the answers. I have, however, gained the realization that nothing can every truly prepare you for everything, no matter how many plans you may lay. Expect the unexpected and be ready for your own emotional journey.
When I left, my Grandma told me to “have fun” and that is what I intend to do. If you intend to embark on your own adventure, my only advice is to be ready with tools in your own emotional toolkit, make time to do things that bring you joy and above all, be kind to yourself.
Woods Wanders the World 